Always having you with me

Alone and Unbearable

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 00:09:00 -0500

I have finally started a new road… a new path… a new life for myself now that I have enter college, but I feel like everything is still the same. Everyone in my life is slowly falling apart, I miss the life I use to live… the friends I could rely on… the happiness I’ve spent with them. Everything is so different and the change is too overwhelming. I can’t be the same person whom I was. I miss you, the person who I could trust… the person whom I could go to when I feel sad… the person whom I loved. Why do you have to be so far? I try so hard to find new friends to talk to, new companions to be with, but everything I’ve been through does not feel right. The feeling of being alone is something I have not felt in a long time, but remembering this feeling has been a huge toll in my life. I know I haven’t posted in a while and it is because I’ve been busy with life, I don’t know how frequently I will be posting from this point on. But I hope you have enjoyed my post this far.

-I always have you <3

Why do I become a brother?

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:03:00 -0500

From the day I met you to no more than a week, I become a brother to you. How did I ever get the tittle? All i wanted to do is make you happy, be their for you. I wanted to treasure the time I am with you, and be there whenever you are sad. When I start to like you… you push me away as an option and just call me a brother. Every time you talk about this boyfriend of yours, I am always in pain. I have to hid my own feeling for you, I am hurting myself trying to do this; however, I just hope for the best for you. But the question is: how did I become a “brother”? How did I earn a tittle like this? All i am doing is making sure you are okay. I treat you as if you are the only one, if you are the only one for me… but you think that all this treatment is because i’m just a normal person that cares for you. I know i may not be straight forward, but it is because I care for your thoughts, i never want to lose the thing we have. I just want to improve what we have now, but it feels impossible because our feeling are not the same. Being a “brother” for you is not bad, but I wish you could think of me more. Even if i try to move on, I can never let go of you. You are always in my thoughts, my life, and in my heart. You are something i can never lose sight of, if you can give me one chance… would you? Can we start something new, live life as if we were in a friend zone or in a “brother/sister” relationship. Can we live life if we were actually boyfriend and girlfriend because I want to show you, that you are truly a great person and that you know it. Going out with jerks are one thing, but do they really care for you? Do they really know whats best for you? Sometimes a nice guy is a great thing, and I wish you knew that because I want to be more than just your “brother”
-I always have you

About me

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 22:56:14 -0400

This might be one my last post this year… or even more. I just want to say for anyone that seen these post. I have had been through many issues and pain in my life. But I think now, I have done something I wish I never had done. I think that my life, is like a roller coaster that never ends. I think I need to rethink of who I really am, from what I am trying to hide, cover, enshroud of me. But thank you for all those that were following me. I’ll keep this simple in short… But thank you, and I do not know if I will be talking to you anytime soon, because it pains to think of you… and even talk to you because of the hardship. Hardship I’ve been bearing since i was a kid, hardship that I have been bearing since I met you, and the burden I’ve been carrying on my back. I’ll always think of you, but I just need some time alone. <3

Promise and Sorries

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 15:43:27 -0400

I just want to say, I’m sorry for all the things I have done to you to have hurt you. When we met I had only promised you one thing that would last a life time, “To never make you sad, and always see a smile on your face”. I always wanted to uphold that promise; however, If I have ever made you cry or ever disappointed from the time we met, then I wonder if I can really do what I had promised you. All I cared for, thought about, and wanted was your happiness. Your happiness and smile is the one and only thing I looked for in my day and helped me through the thick and thin. Why do we keep promises we can never accomplish? Why is it that if we promise someone something that we set out to do, we can never follow through it and end up hurting the person you promised? I always made promises and kept them to the word, but I never once tried to break any on purpose. Without you my life would just be incomplete, and I always wanted to let you know that you are never alone. I’ll always be by your side, if you can forgive me for what I have done to make you sad: give me another chance. I don’t ever want to do that again.

-I Always Have You<3

Awwww, thanks. "D <3 Haha. Your reply made me smile.

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 22:22:06 -0400

No problem <3 :D

I started as one and then i met you. Together we both go through...

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 18:58:00 -0400

I started as one and then i met you. Together we both go through a journey; that journey leads us two different ways or paths. Though we go our separate ways i can never forget about you. In the end no matter how I think about it, You are always the one i think of as my queen… my love. Someone I can never forget or will ever forget because i truly want you and always miss you
-I Always have you <3

Truth

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:05:05 -0400

Sometimes…The truth hurts. The need that we, as people, try to delay the reality and cushion the blow. One time or another, we will all soon figure out what is true and what is false, the question is why not tell us now? why not tell us before things get worse? or why not tell us instead of letting it build up and we have to learn it the hard way and never wish it was true? But the reality… the truth is no one likes the truth. Even though it may come as a shocker to many, the truth can be very painful. The idea that you can cling onto something until the very last moment, yet you know it is not true… you know that it will never happen. Why is it that we must hear it to move on… to go past and better ourselves. Life is ever changing and it is that truth that will make stronger… to make us a better person… to help us accept that reality is harsh and life is never the way it seems. Yet I… I see the truth as something i know will never happen no matter what you say. I know that the truth will hurt me and that even if i accept the false reality that everything will come back to haunt me. Truth is reality… and the truth hurts. We must learn to accept this fact and be able to move on from where we are and learn to live with how they have been presented. No cushion… no words to make the “pain” easier, because in the end result it will just lead up to the same truth that we never wanted to hear
-I always have you <3

Living life to the fullest

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:59:22 -0400

When something knocks you down, most people just get back up… but what happens that one thing, puts you out of your misery…your life…your time. What many people do not learn is that death is just right around the corner. To accept the truth is inevitable ‘till it happens and you are given a second chance. No matter what you do, you must never regret the decision you make, the path you take, and the life you choose. Though things should not be done in a rush, just take the life you have and find a way to live it like its no other. Days that you will be able to treasure and remember and never forget instead of regret. Its just that life can be a butthole, but we all know that sometimes things happen for a reason, the only problem is we never know what that reason is. We search all our lives for that reason and when it hits us we just can not believe it. In the end we ponder the thought of why that has ever happen. Just think about this, Have you ever regrette something you have fun to the point where you do not feel like your self? Ever wanted to do more, but you couldn’t? or May it even be that Life has been too short that the things you wanted to do never came? Well here is my suggestion… Take the opportunity you can and expand from it only from there you will truly know how you want to live your life. Never stay in the back always look up and move forward.

Hate

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:53:05 -0400

What a powerful thing… the idea of anger and dislike towards one thing. Why do people create such angst and anger that would create this. Here is just my little rant about it; Hate is such a great thing and sad. It is what makes us human and prevents us from having our own perfect little world. In our lives, it is impossible to expel hate from our emotion only suppress it. Hate is what sometimes forms by liar, the idea that being trustful and truthful hurts one another. Hate comes from many places and position and it starts from the heart. Sometimes wishing that this was not create, maybe someday people are able to forgive one another and truly forget the things that have happen. Hate… the bottle up emotion of darkness…the emotion of the devil. I just wanted to say this because i live in a world of hate, i really do not like it but i must live through it. Life is never fair and we must always tough things out but in all reality all you can trust are very so little people. I know this may sound like a downer but i just needed to get this out of my system. I am a person that can’t bare this, yet ironically i live in it. Everyday and every waking moment i barely can get past this and i just hope one day i can live through it and brush it off like its nothing. Thank you

A Blank day

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 22:43:00 -0400

Everytime i talk to you, my life feels like its at a standstill. When everything sad or happy goes away and all i want is you. The time we spent together and the time we talked together has been the best. It is a time when i can forget about everything that is happening around me. I wish times like these are always like this. I never want to ever think about the tragic days that we face and the deep burden that we must beer. A time and day when everything is almost like it is “blank”. A start of a new day and a new happiness. A day that the only thing i need to worry about is to make you happy. I always wish that these times could come more apparent. I never want to leave your side because you are truly the only one for me. To hold you in my arms and embrace you with my love. Those are the only days i want to live. Why is it that we must bear these painful times? the deep burden? Why does it have to be that we have to be troubled with so many things? I only wish that everyone will find their special someone. Someone that could make them forget about all the troubles and remain happy with the time they are with them. You are always someone I will have in my heart no matter where you are and where you go. And never forget that the times spent with you will always be the best moments of my life through any circumstance. -I Always Have you <3

Loneliness part 2 (Isolation)

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 04:17:47 -0400

Days by day, nights by night… They all go by so quickly. As you live your life it feels like you are surrounded by thing walls. Clear and thin yet impossible to break. You move through life as someone invisible. You can’t help but feel that life as you know it is not worth it. Knowing that whatever you do, it will be of nothing in return, towards you or anyone else. You can’t help but understand, experience like there is no end to the world and that life as you know it should be cut short. These walls that have been placed are all from a single event. a single past or action that had occurred. Many people commit suicide because they isolate themselves from the world. The huge trauma that just occur was unbearable for them to handle. IT is believed that many people feel this loneliness, this isolation, this separation from the world. IF only everyone could just step aside and open up. We have all lived for a reason, a purpose, and we should never let that go. Hope is always still up there, the clean, thin walls that we have formed are not really the exterior of ourselves but the interior… The heart. The Heart is a powerful and valuable ideal towards humans. and to be able to break free from all this madness and sadness we need to open up and allow our hearts to accepts others because in reality: not everyone is bad.

Passion or Faith

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 03:50:53 -0400

Passion? What is passion? Passion is a drive… A drive that when you do this thing you feel good and happy. A drive that helps mold you to become the person you will become and are. A Passion are the strength and bond that connects you between you and that object…that action…that ideal. Yet, when we say we have lost the “passion” for the one ideal or objective; have we really lost the “Passion”? Or have we just lost faith in it. The idea that when you do not feel the need to do it anymore or motivated for it. The idea that it has no greater value or meaning. When we really say i have lost “passion” for that, Do we really mean that, did we lost that drive? or in all truth do we have no more faith that could befall us on it. When we gain a passion, i believe that we do not really lose it. Deep inside a person there will always be a small part of you that remembers the sensation, excitement of this passion. We just don’t always remember it and is cast aside because of its insignificance. But when we always have a passion, we should never forget it because it is something that is a part of us. Never give up on a passion you have, because in all truth we are just losing faith that it will do something for us. Passion doesn’t always have to do something for us, it could be helping others in many different ways.

deedeejo: ~ CONTEST/ GIVEAWAY ~ REBLOG AT A CHANCE TO WIN A...

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 19:46:56 -0400

deedeejo:

~ CONTEST/ GIVEAWAY ~

REBLOG AT A CHANCE TO WIN A NIKON D40!

I will be giving away a Nikon D40. Currently I am getting a new one which is being shipped right now so I decided why not have a contest on tumblr for my current one! Whoever reblogs this has a chance of winning this. I will pick the winner at random. You are allowed to double reblog also. My tumblr is www.deedeejo.tumblr.com and I will message the winner by the end of next week and you will have to give your adress and everything and I will keep it confidential! The giveaway includes:

A extra long lense

The orginal lense

An extra battery and charger!

Memories

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:09:48 -0400

Figments of the past. People you have known. Changing ideals and thoughts. Many of us want to re-live some of memories, some of us wants to never want to touch them again. But in the true fact, our memories are what makes us who us who we are. The memories of the past help us shape what we become to be and creates these life imprints into our mind. There are people that helped us in many ways in the past that we may not remember as much or talk to. Even if you want to forget your memories, it is really hard because it is something that you have lived and experienced. Why do we hate these memories? These experience/ memories may have hurt one person but these memories can save many. These are times when you should accept that this happens and understand the for this to happen again is a very painful experience toward another and maybe even you. Memories should be the foundation if not a building block in advancing society and creating healthy futures. Why should you accept these fact? Why should memories be acceptable and never be blocked? Just remember, another person memories can be another persons savior. Accept what has happen and moved on because memories can hurt you even when you try to forget it.

Lonely Nights

Sat, 11 Jun 2011 15:09:30 -0400

Most typical student live through their life in an endless cycle until they graduate from college or high school. But what keeps us going? At the end of the night, after all that homework we just lay in our beds… But is grades our only motivation. Everytime we have moments of relaxation, some of us take long shower or take naps, but in all honesty what are we really thinking of? we always ponder various questions(i.e Why do i exist? Whats my purpose?) and much more. Though it may not seem, many people lived very lonely lives and out of those many, some have been rejected and feel like there is no one else for them. But truly, what is the purpose that we all go to a lonely night. No matter how you think or how you are, everyone has been by themselves one day or another in the night. So what is the reason and purpose that we have to face these.

Where are you now- Honor Society

Sun, 29 May 2011 15:50:00 -0400

Where are you now- Honor Society

Loneliness

Sat, 28 May 2011 16:25:24 -0400

Walking on a lonely road. Side by side with yourself. The feeling that there is nobody for you, that distance you from many others. Loneliness, they act of sadness and isolation that keep you from making new people. Loneliness pushes many away, yet they try to become your friend. What is it with loneliness and being lonely? Why do people push away others to try and accomplish this goal? If not, Why do people end up in this state? Loneliness is a very horrid thing,being alone in the world and feeling like there is no one out there for you is not true. There will always be someone out there for you. You may not know it but deep in your heart a person will always cherish, and love you.

Regret

Sat, 28 May 2011 15:42:46 -0400

I know i’ve mention this in various post or contains a correlation to this, but i would like to solely talk about Regrets here…

Regret…Past Action…Daunting Choices. There just one thing i would like to say about my life that include regret about a person. Whenever i think about what we have done in the past, there was only one thing i always regretted about doing with you. The Regret of not knowing how i feel about you. Everytime i see you, i regret that i didn’t take the chance to be with you not as a friend but someone more than that. Regret. Why do we have regret? Regret slow us down and bring us down. They stop us from taking chances with our lives, yet they help us grow. The growth in which we learn from our mistake, We take action to change our lives based on the regret we lived. As i shared, regret can change a person life not just in the present but in the future. Regret are painful, but some of us need to learn and grow that what happened in the past has already happen. All I want to say from the regret i had gained is, I love you and i wish i told you that sooner, i hope you have a happy life.

elavanilla: lovequotesrus: Photo Courtesy: weallneedlove x.x...

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 02:11:42 -0400

elavanilla:

lovequotesrus:

Photo Courtesy: weallneedlove

x.x why.

Earth Hour... A Midnight Walk

Sun, 27 Mar 2011 01:32:31 -0400

Ever believed that when you look at the stars, you see things align or connect? You feel that whenever you look up it is a peaceful night. No crimes, No violence… But when you look up, you see a shooting star. The star that grants wishes, the star that can bring out hope and belief. When you see that star, Do you ever wish that you could meet that special someone, and that someone, the person want to meet, is looking at the same sky as you. That one day, where everything will come together into one place. A sky where you are never alone, and midnight times where you can cuddle and spend sips of hot cocoa with. A midnight walk was all you and I need, a place to think and feel like there will always be someone or something that will be with you. A reflection and ponder on what you believe will complete you. That was my Earth Hour… A wish upon a star for that one person.